Only my loved ones understand how much the discussion of divorce means to me. I’m not going to go into detail, but my parents split had an interesting, long-lasting effect on me and my upbringing, for obvious reasons. Dealing with the change was the toughest part. There were two things that helped me through this, Las Vegas Summer vacays and Mrs. Doubtfire.
What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas
Even after they split, my parents continued to send my sister and I to go see our grandparents in Las Vegas. It was to make sure we still knew our relatives, in spite of the separation and discontent my parents had for each other.
I loved going out there. Especially kickin’ it with my grandparents.
They took us everywhere and exposed us to so many new things. Shoot, it was because of my grandfather that by the time I was 11, I could navigate an airport and casino alone and find my way back home through the city unscathed just in time to go into the deep-end of the pool he used to shove us in to get us out the safe shallow end. I could get around because they gave us the skills to do so.
My grandfather was called back home last month.
“All My Love to You Poppett”
And now Williams has passed. The man that made so many of my favorite movies: Aladdin, Patch Adams, FernGully, Flubber, and most of all Mrs. Doubtfire.
Oh yes. The great Euphegenia Doubtfire
Mrs. Doubtfire was more than a movie that made me laugh. It helped me understand that no matter what my parents did, the love they felt for me wouldn’t change and everything was going to be okay, even if they weren’t together. The scene at the end when he got REAL with us– you remember:
I just knew I was going to be okay after hearing this.
At least until today.
When the safety net goes away
I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about how (in ours 20s) we are the most vulnerable to depression and social disorders. I explained the reason like this: For (at least) 18 years (for the privileged few of us with loving homes) we are in a regular system of school and recreational life. Nothing to worry about, no real responsibilities, and the freedom to do whatever we want, within reason. Then we are pushed into the real world; a world free of order, sense, and reason; and told to make due and hopefully you’ll come out on top, if you’re lucky….
Essentially my safety net was my grandfather and children’s classics like Aladdin & Mrs. Doubtfire. They are now gone and I’m going through a depressive state.
However, depression is like winning the lottery compared to worse conditions young adults fall victim to. substance abuse, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, cutting – the list goes on. When you think about the state of mind young adults are in today with student loan debt crisis and a terribly horrific economy, I’m shocked half the world still exists.
You want to get more depressed: the man that tried to make us all happy when we were confused little kids ended up killing himself for the same reason. That makes me feel like shit. Even more depressing, this happens everyday if not every hour of the day.
In 2011, every 13 minutes someone killed themselves on average! it wouldn’t surprise me if the numbers were significantly higher when the year is over. And what are we doing to change this…don’t worry I’ll wait.
What about the other men, women, and teens who lost their safety nets, either this morning or at another moment, who don’t understand that they need to get their frustrations out on paper; who may need to talk to someone about going to rehab; Who need hugs when their problem is greater than their will to live?
I’m making the choice to let my emotions out with tears, expression, and Mrs. Doubtfire on repeat. I hope the rest of you are in a good mind state to choose to react just as positively. However, if you’re still trying to find some sense in all of this, and can’t find a happy place, know that you aren’t alone in your confusion and fear.
You’re not the only one that’s saddened by this great loss, nor are you the only one crying about it. But, in the words of Mrs. Doubtfire, “You’re going to be alright.” And we can get through this, together.
Dedicated to George Lyke Sr. & Robin Williams, two souls that made Allie happy. May you both rest in paradise. Follow me @AllieLyke